Hidden Self-Sabotage

Procrastination and Indecision

What do you want to be when you grow up?  It doesn’t seem to matter how old we get, people are still trying to answer this question.  After all, there are infinite opportunities in our great big world.  How could you possibly decide?  Hey, life is a journey!  You’re only going to do this job for a “season” anyway, until something better comes along.

Be honest.  Most of us just have no idea what we want to be when we grow up.  I’ve got news for you: “I don’t know,” is sabotaging your life.

What is self-sabotage?  Simply put, it’s when you think you want something in your conscious mind, but your subconscious mind causes you to act in a way that takes you in the opposite direction.  You say you want a relationship, but when you have the chance to call back you don’t. You’re unhappy at work, but don’t follow up with a new job lead from a friend.

I recently became aware the most dangerous form of self-sabotage in my own life.  It’s a silent killer of our dreams.  It was uncomfortable to realize this truth.  Be prepared to take a close look in the mirror, and sorry in advance if it hits close to home, but I have to share a huge revelation for me.

Hidden self-sabotage sounds like this:

  • “I don’t know for sure what I want…”
  • “I’m not confident what career path to go down…”
  • “There are still a lot of options I’m considering…”
  • “My dreams?  All I know is that THIS is NOT it…”

Seems harmless, right?  Maybe even wise? After all, you don’t want to rush into a decision without taking time to seek council and really weigh your options.  Patience is a virtue!  Sorry folks, we are being fooled by our subconscious.

Bottom line is that high performing people, successful people by any measure of success, have the habit of seeking clarity.  “I don’t know,” isn’t good enough for them.  They do whatever it takes to figure out what matters, what they want to be, do, and have… then they DECIDE and take action.  It’s okay to not have the answers today.  But it’s not okay to stay in indecision a day longer than necessary.  And it doesn’t take 10 years to figure out.

What makes it so hard to decide what we want?  The biggest barrier is fear.  Fear of criticism, fear of the unknown, fear of getting it wrong and being broke, fear of fill-in-the-blank.  If we don’t make a decision, we never have to face those fears.  And it’s socially acceptable to be “in the process of making a decision.”

That’s status quo.  That’s taking you nowhere.  That’s self-sabotage.

If we want to move toward the life of our dreams, we have to decide what dream we want to move toward!  Seems simple, doesn’t it?  Then why do many people not have an answer to the question, “What are you dreams?”  If you don’t make a decision on what you want, you can never move on to step two: taking action!

In my own life, I’m making it my number one priority to get crystal clear about who I want to be when I grow up.  I will stop answering people with “I don’t know,” and, “I’m not sure yet.”  Decide today to do the same, and write down in clear detail what you want.  Have written goals.  Don’t procrastinate.  If you truly don’t know, then you have one goal: Figure it out and DECIDE!

If you are already living the life of your dreams, awesome!  Write it down anyway.  You may find there is room for a bigger dream as you start writing.

“Life is a checkerboard, and the player opposite you is TIME.  If you hesitate before moving, or neglect to move promptly, your men will be wiped off the board by TIME.  You are playing against a partner who will not tolerate INDECISION!”

– Napoleon Hill

Don’t run out of time.  Decide what you are meant to be, do, and have in this life.  Then begin step two, and take action now.

Send me an email today and learn more about how I can help guide you to the clarity you crave.

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